Moving to Paris and feeling lost: how to rebuild your life abroad

Everyone told you it would be amazing. Paris! The cafés, the light, the Seine. And some days it is amazing. And some days you sit in your apartment and think: what am I doing here? Who am I here?

If that’s you, first: it’s normal. Really, so normal. Feeling lost after a big move isn’t a sign you made a mistake. It’s a sign you’re in the middle of a big change.

Why you feel lost

Back home, your identity was held by a lot of things around you. Your work, your friends, your language, the way people saw you. When you move, most of that disappears at once. You’re still you, but the “mirror” is gone.

Add the paperwork, the language, maybe a partner who’s busy with the new job, maybe kids who need you twice as much. No wonder you feel like you lost yourself somewhere between the airport and the préfecture.

Step 1: Your point A (honestly)

Before you try to fix anything, look at where you are right now. No judgement. Just the truth.

• What do I have here? (even small things: a café I like, one friend, a walk I love)
• What’s missing the most?
• What drains me every week?

In my coaching I always start with this. Because if you don’t know where you’re starting from, it’s very hard to see if you’re making progress.

Step 2: Your point B (a real one)

Now, forget what your life “should” look like here. What do YOU want your life in Paris to feel like in a year? Be concrete. Not “happy”. What does happy look like on a Tuesday morning?

Dream first, filter later. When you dream and judge at the same time, the dream never gets out of your head. So write it all, even the parts that feel too big.

Step 3: One small step outside, one small step inside

Outside: one real action this week. A class, a meetup, a message to that person you liked at the school gate. Messy is fine.

Inside: one way to come back to yourself. A walk alone, journaling, a healing session, anything that reconnects you with who you are when nobody’s watching.

We always need both. Only outside, and you get busy but still empty. Only inside, and you understand everything but nothing changes.

Step 4: Give it time (more than you think)

Rebuilding a life abroad takes time. Usually more than a year before it really feels like home. That’s not failure, that’s how people work.

Where I come in

A lot of the women I work with are in this exact place. New city, new language, old dreams they don’t want to lose. We work on the practical side (what’s your next real step?) and the inner side (who are you, here, now?).

And we do it in English, so you don’t have to translate your heart.