Burnout as an expat woman in Paris: the signs, and your first steps

Paris is beautiful. And Paris can be exhausting. Especially when you’re far from your family, your language, your people, and you’re the one holding everything together.

I’ve been through burnout. I know how it sneaks in: slowly, quietly, and then all at once. So let’s talk about it, simply, woman to woman.

(Important: I’m a life coach, not a doctor. If you feel really unwell, please see your GP. And if you’re in crisis, call 15, 112 or 3114.)

Why expat women are more exposed

When you move abroad, you lose many of the small things that were holding you without you even noticing. Your mom who could take the kids for an afternoon. Your best friend 10 minutes away. Knowing how things work: the doctor, the school, the paperwork.

So everything takes more energy. And very often, the expat woman becomes the “project manager” of the whole family’s new life. Everyone else adapts, because she carries it.

The signs (the quiet ones too)

• you’re tired even after sleeping
• small things feel huge: an email, a phone call in French, a school form
• you feel irritated with the people you love the most
• you don’t really remember what you like anymore
• you keep saying “when things calm down, I’ll…”, and they never calm down
• your body talks: headaches, stomach, tension, panic, heart racing
• you feel lonely, even when you’re not alone

If you’re reading this and nodding, please don’t panic. But please don’t ignore it either.

Your first steps

1. Name it

Say it to yourself, out loud even: “I’m exhausted.” Not “I’m lazy”, not “I’m not doing enough”. Exhausted. Naming it changes the way you treat yourself.

2. Take one thing off your plate this week

Just one. Something you do because you “should”. Let it go, or ask for help, or do it badly. Mistakes are welcome here, really.

3. Give your nervous system a break

Your body needs to feel safe before your mind can think clearly. Walk without your phone. Lie down 10 minutes with a hand on your chest. Breathe slower than normal. It sounds too simple. It works.

4. Find one person who speaks your language

Literally and emotionally. An expat group, a friend, a coach, a therapist. Someone you don’t have to translate yourself for.

5. Talk to a professional

If it lasts for weeks, please see your doctor. Burnout is real and it can need real medical care.

What I do with women in this place

When a woman comes to me exhausted, we don’t start with goals and plans. We start with space. To rest, to put something down, to breathe. Sometimes with a healing session, sometimes just talking.

Then, slowly, we look at the outside: what needs to change in your days, your work, your boundaries, so you don’t end up here again.

You don’t have to carry it all alone. Even in Paris. Especially in Paris.